Ladies, let’s talk. The Corporate world has a way of shaping us—sometimes in ways we don’t even notice. We start out vibrant, joyful, and whole, but somewhere along the way we slip into overdrive: grinding harder, toughening our voices, toning ourselves down just to fit in. It’s not always intentional, but it can leave us exhausted and disconnected from who we really are.
This is exactly what happened to me.
When “Too Pretty” Became a Problem
I’ll never forget one of my first job interviews after graduating college.
I wore the cutest skirt suit my mom bought me—kitten heels, stockings, fresh flowing hair, tasteful makeup, polished nails. I was excited. I took the bus to a Kingston office, feeling hopeful.
Inside the boardroom sat a man and a woman. He greeted me with a warm smile. She nodded coolly.
The interview started. I was doing well. The man kept smiling. The woman frowned.
Finally, she spoke:
“You’ll distract my men. This will not work. You’re too pretty for this job.”
I was stunned. The man flushed red. She continued:
“This is a dirty job. I need someone who can build and lift things. Can you do that?”
I answered yes—confused why my polished appearance said otherwise. Surely I couldn’t show up in overalls for an interview!
In the end, the man offered me a developer role on his team. I politely declined. I was qualified for the position I had applied for, and this place wasn’t for me. I walked out smiling, but held back tears on the bus ride home.
Editing Myself to Fit In
Her words haunted me: “You’re too pretty.”
I thought about the man’s lingering smiles, too. Somehow, I blamed myself.
So I decided: if I wanted to be taken seriously in tech, I needed to tone down my femininity.
I chopped off my hair. Stopped wearing makeup. Only pantsuits. Every interview after that, I showed up in a black suit, oxford shirt, tied-back hair, flats, and a bare face. I spoke firmly, resisted smiling, and kept it serious.
It worked. I got jobs. I advanced. But I was exhausted.
Thriving—But at a Cost
Looking back, I see it clearly: I was thriving in my masculine. I grew in my career, built skills, and achieved. But I paid for it with my health.
At 21, I couldn’t see that the woman interviewing me was wrong. I couldn’t shake the blame I felt for the man’s looks. I believed I had to edit myself—mute my femininity—to earn respect.
Meanwhile, my PCOS was raging. On birth control, I pushed my body harder, convinced I didn’t need a real period. I told myself I could “keep up with the men.”
But inside, I was depleted.
Finding Rest in the Feminine
My shift came when I began healing my PCOS.
As I learned to eat, move, and rest my way to wellness, something changed. The way I showed up at work, how I dressed, and how I led began to look different.
I realized: I didn’t need to apologize for my appearance. Other women’s disdain or men’s looks? Their business, not mine.
I gave myself permission to just be me—female, whole, and balanced. I embraced rest over grind. I let my “masculine energy” serve me as structure and discipline, but I stopped letting it define me.
Want to Make the Pivot Too? Start Here.
Where are you on this journey? Have you stumbled too far into masculinity and long to re-embrace your feminine side? Here are some starting points:
- Pray. Ask God to strip away anything in you that doesn’t reflect Him.
- Audit yourself. Where do you shrink or overcompensate, just to avoid being perceived as weak? Write it down and surrender it to God.
- Give yourself permission. Look in the mirror and affirm that you like who you see. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident, not hidden.
- Learn to cycle-sync. Work with your body’s rhythms instead of against them.
Truth is, I still love my pantsuits. I still don’t own a skirt suit. Makeup feels like a chore. My hair? Still short. And heels post-pregnancy? Torture!
But outward appearance isn’t the point. The healing came when I stopped putting achievement above rest. When I finally embraced the wholeness of being woman.
The Beauty of Being Woman
Feminine doesn’t mean weak.
You can be strong and soft. That’s the gift of womanhood.
I’m on a mission to transform the drudgery of the 9–5 into spaces of productive joy.
Will you join me?
With love,
Your Joy Coach,
Chantelle
Nouriched: Eat, Move and Rest Your way to Wellness 
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