When My Heart is Overwhelmed…

I know when my anxiety has gotten the best parts of my life:

My breathing becomes shallow
My heart flutters and I startle easily
The tears are always so precariously close
I can’t focus
My motivation wanes
My appetite dissappears
My headaches feel constant and Tylenol becomes my best friend for days on end
I ruminate and replay “what-if” scenarios in my head, trying to find an escape from the dis-ease in my body
I pray a lot
I cry while praying a lot
Sermons and spritual songs sit with me and remind me of truths my ruminating thoughts have hijacked.

It’s exhausting!

Anybody else like this?

The hardest part is, I know when its there because of all these signals my body gives me, and I fight it with the truths of the scripture:

Philippians 4:6-7:“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Psalm 55:22:“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
John 14:27:“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
1 Peter 5:7:“Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
Isaiah 41:10:“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

I could go on. I constantly encourage myself, and logically – I know I’m safe in His arms but…my body betrays me.

Anybody else like this?

The first time I noticed these physical manifestations of anxiety, was in 2020. I always knew I struggled with anxiety, but after I had worked on my gut health and reversed my PCOS in around 2017 (I genuinely forget the year now) I felt like I got the anxiety under control. So when I got my 2020 blood work done, and my doctor at the time chose to test my cortisol, I was surprised that it was sky high. I surely wasnt the anxious Chantelle I was before reversing my PCOS and fixing my gut health. So what is this?

I remember when he wisely said (something like this) to me: “Well, Chantelle, we are animals. Our bodies react in ways that betray our minds. Something environmentally is stressing you out. And while you’re much better than you were before healing, you have some ways to go in confronting the root cause of your anxiety.”

Since then, I’ve prayed, sought counsel, went to therapy — all the things adjunct to my “EAT-MOVE-REST” lifestyle. And the techniques worked! Until new curve balls in life came along (as they always do). Sometimes, I need a little extra help with getting my body to align with where my mind and thoughts are. Indeed, we are animals. We have to care for both the physical body, as well as the mind, soul and spirit.

My Strategies to Relieve Anxiety

I’ve learned a few things in my years of dealing with anxiety. I don’t have all the answers, but here’s what helps me (and I hope it serves you as well).

When the anxious thoughts hit, I have to move my body. Walking or running usually does it. I have to literally walk or run at the pace my mind is going. I can’t explain it, but if my mind is racing, and my body is still, it causes an incongruence that makes the anxiety worse. So I have to move at the pace of my anxious thoughts. A quick Google search will reveal that walking can help with anxiety because it releases endorphins, improves mood, and takes your mind off of worries. I haven’t done any extensive research on this. Anyways, if you see my running down your street like a mad woman, know that my thoughts are equally as cray-cray looking.

When anxious thoughts hit, I get out into the sun. I do not know what it is about my face to the sun (Vitamin D effect?) but getting outside, face to the Sun immediately connects me with a good God who is bigger than I am, and is constant in providing the sustenance I need — even when I’m locked into the prison on my own thoughts.

I ask for prayer. I have a few close friends who will pray for me. I pray too, but there’s nothing like being covered in prayer by loving friends.

I keep up with my routines. Best believe, I am not giving into my anxious thoughts. No sir… I’ve been there before and it leads to a type of despair that is HARD TO GET OUT OF. So I get out of bed and I do all the things, even though my motivation is low. I get dressed and head to work, I keep up with my appointments. I cook. I clean. I play with the tiny human. I continue showing up.

There is more that I typically do, but these are the key ones that go along with my regular EAT-MOVE-REST routines.

That’s all I wanted to share for now. Until next time, take good care of yourself! Breathe, move, pray — and know that anxiety, like grief, comes in waves. Feel your feels and continue on with life as best as you can.